inside his solitary shell he bleeds, he bleeds so hard, he yearns, he desires, only to receive disappointment. but he'll survive, because life doesn't let go as easily as he does. cursed for eternity, he moves on, preferring the solitude of his shell, the protection, the security, the reluctancy for change. this is his way of life, the preferred path he's chosen. he's not looking back, because by doing so, he would only be losing precious and valuable time. no, what he's looking for in his life is not loneliness, but rather, all he's seeking is a little love. just a little. a drop, a trickle, vapour, he wished it was all for real. but afterall, in life, anything goes. inevitable, he might add. why the fug he's writing so emotively, he still wonders. there goes another 5 minutes of wasted time. WASTED TIME. but thats nothing compared to the 16 years he's wasted staying alive.
well,
i've decided to make this clear.
something woke me up yesterday.
well i'll just use this entry to say a few things.
well
if you ever read this
i'm sorry zhirong.
sorry for all the shit i've been giving you,
perhaps i was quite harsh and had fun at your expense.
perhaps i don't know how it feels like.
the jokes aren't funny anymore,
they're not getting any funnier.
so for this
i say
i'm sorry, zhirong
for everything.
and i hope
you'll accept
my apology.
perhaps initially it was quite funny
but i could see you were getting pissed.
well
ok
i feel like a pussy now
but anyway
yeah, sorry.
but this doesn't mean you're not a bugger.
you're still a bugger, i mean it. lol.
ok finally got something off my chest.
one more thing.
road run tomorrow
i vow not to feel shit halfway
and stop to shit
becaues there aren't public toilets along the way
so i hope to shit before the run tomorrow
and hopefully i'll pull through
because it sucks when you pull out at the last stretch
because you have shit bouncing up and down your anus while you run.
its a horrible feeling, trust me.
never again will you ever experience that kind of horrible feeling. unless its the same situation.
its horrible.
just like everything else in this damned world
i need to be alone
i need answers
but i never seem to find them anywhere.
probably because
nobody else can give me those answers
this is something i'll have to solve on my own
i need a miracle, a miracle
a ray; a glimmer of hope
but i will solve this on my own.