actually, maybe it's just me.
well first things first. chinese lunar new year. a festive occasion. am i supposed to be happy? well perhaps.
nothing much happened today that made a significant impact on my mundane life. except perhaps when i visited my cousins in the night. they're pretty cool people. they're actually not direct cousins, they're my mum's cousin's children. but nonetheless they're cool people.
the eldest got direct admission into raffles junior college. she plays netball and hockey. whao.
the 2nd oldest is the chess club president in maris stella. crap he pwned me in all the games we played today. he is really really smart. and he's really really good at it.
the other 2...are very funny people. they like torturing the hamster. LOL. unintentionally, of course.
they're really nice people, all of them. i haven't seen them in a pretty long time. it was just great to finally catch up with them again.
its quite sad. i see them for like once a year, then i don't know when i'll ever get to see them again. its like, i didn't even see them once last year i think. they're really nice people. ah. well like jem puts it, life sucks.
look to the past and remember and smile
and maybe tonight i can breathe for a while
i'm not in this scene
i think i'm falling asleep
but then all that it means is
i'll always be dreaming of you.
blink-182 - feeling this
one of the most beautiful bridges of a song. just something random.
sometimes i guess i wait for things to happen.
i never really was this way
until i realised that trying to make things happen was as good as waiting for something to happen.
quite useless.
people = shit.
a song by slipknot.
but now lets just talk about the title and its significance to me.
i'll be honest. frankly speaking, i'm not a very good friend. i don't bother about anyone but myself. i'm quite a failure as a friend, as a person, as a human being. i am something nobody else would want to be.
why the heck do people actually still bother sustaining a friendship with me? well, what is it that you people see in me. because i don't really see anything in myself either. you people must have like superman vision or something.
but to all those who stuck with me through thick and thin, stepped in cow dung with me, then pulled me out of the cow dung when i got stuck, thanks. you don't know what every friendship means to me.
well being the failure that i am, i will survive.
one of the oldest organisms on earth is the cockroach. its shell, being protective against radiation, enables it to survive even in radioactive conditions (duh.) well i hope i'll find this solitary shell, perhaps being alone will keep me alive, just long enough to perhaps make a difference. not like the cockroach, but perhaps find some meaning in life. before being squashed by a higher power maybe. but i will find that meaning in life, maybe not now, not tomorrow or not even the day after. it could be next month, next year, next decade. but i swear that in this lifetime i shall find my meaning in life. maybe then i'll be able to change my perception of life. my outlook of life.
being a misfit in society is not easy. but if the cockroach survived, why can't i?
i'll give life a shot.
maybe