okay, quiz time.
1. how many times have you said this..
"f*ck, ch3ebye nabe1, [insert vulgarity here], I hate my life."
ok, quiz time is over. yes, pathetic, only one question.
well, actually the [insert vulgarity here] wasn't the important part. rather, it was what followed that part which was the important part.
if you answered...
<2 times, good for you.
you have a good life now, you probably have a good life ahead. nothing seems to trouble you, nothing can stand in your way. even falling down flat on your face into a pile of dogshit won't ruin your day. you know whats your purpose in life, your meaning, everything.
>2 times, sucks to you...
life sucks for you. the slightest thing may trouble you. what seems like nothing could end up something. nothing seems to go right for you. sometimes wou wonder, what you're doing here? whats your purpose, your meaning...
well, maybe this just applies for me. but i'm the 2nd type of person. i used to think that life had many possibilities, anything could happen in an instant. expect the unexpected. that kinda bullshit. but then, life is like a routine for me. once in a while, yeah something surprising happens. then its back to normal everyday life. to school, to home, to tuition, to home, to school, to piano, to home, to school, to tuition, to home. you get the idea.
whats the point in that. living aimlessly, just doing things because you have to. not because of passion, not because you see any purpose in it. just because you feel its right, it should be done, and what do you have to lose anyway.
yes, disappointment is inevitable. but does life have to be full of disappointment? thats a burning question for me. maybe its just how i look at life, but everytime i look at something, it's easier for me to notice the bad rather than the good points of something.
what i'm trying to say is, why does life seem so meaningless and why do i seem to be living for nothing? "always live for yourself, not for others."
well. either way, i don't see much point. live for myself? for what? live for others? for what?
why live in the first place, if you don't know what you're living for? don't get me wrong. i'm not a suicidal emo kid. i am a regular teenage guy who's searching for his purpose and meaning in life. 16 years on earth, i've still not found my purpose in life. why am i here? what am i supposed to do? why am i supposed to do it?
honestly, it's quite scary. i don't know what i'm supposed to do or why i'm supposed to do whatever i do.
i hope
i find
my purpose
and meaning
in life.
i know
i have
repeated
the same thing
over and over again
on this entry
sorry
and thank you
to all who bothered
to read till this point.
sorry but happy belated birthday Justin. i guess i got the date wrong.
i'm a horrible friend...i'm really sorry. happy birthday! and yeah. one day we all must go LAN again. zhirong = dick :D